When Shit Hits The Dragon Twice
by GuestwithaGun
Summary: He’s got stench for days and shit to spare... but more importantly, he’s back... With stronger shit. Crack fic. Natza cos why not :) Sequel to a story that doesn’t exist anymore... written 5 years ago. (When Shit Hits The Dragon) RnR if ya want more...


**When Shit Hits the Dragon Twice**

It was a peaceful afternoon... sike.

Well, it was supposed to be... but that's boring. Nah... today was anything but peaceful. (Dun-Dun-Dun!)

The once alive and vibrant forest, that surrounded the great town of Magnolia seemed quiet for once. Deadly so.

With a view from the sky, one section of the forest seemed different.

In a vast sea of green, this section was a straight path of sickly brown; formed by the shrivelled up leaves of dead trees.

The path ended on the outskirt of the forest atop a cliff that overlooked the town. A hooded cloaked figure on the edge...

Why was he there exactly? For dramatic effect... over-the-top but hey! it kinda looked badass...

'Bet I look so badass right now...' A smug smirk formed underneath the hood as the mysterious figure swept his gaze along the town below.

Sniff. 'I can smell him.' Sniff. Sniff. 'I can smell them.' The smirk was replaced by a toothy grin that exposed a set of ugly, stained, yet sharp teeth.

"Time to let them know that I'm back." At the end of his statement, he started to build up his magic. A thick brown aura started to seep from his skin as all of a sudden, flies started to surround him... the insects buzzing hungrily around him in excitement.

He slapped his hands together and shut his eyes in an attempt to focus. Magic pooling and bubbling in his stomach, taking shape. Asshole clenched to extreme levels to maintain control... this was gonna be big.

"Shit Dragon: Secret Art..."

He unclenched.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Before! An hour earlier in Magnolia:

"Wow... it's actually kinda slow today."

And it was... (#WorldBuilding Dun-Dun-Dun!). The usually busy streets had less bustling citizens rushing about their day. The occasional carriage would pass by slowly carrying some noble whatever, but the streets were mostly kept busy by playing children and afternoon shoppers. Very unlike the usual rush.

It was a strange yet welcomed sight to the see the town in a peaceful state.

The observation came from a young man who was walking down the said streets. Taking in everything as his gaze swept the area.

He was of average height, carrying the impressive athletic build of a fighter. Surprisingly however, he had pink spiky hair... huh.. but I guess that's normal in this world.

"It's salmon, you ass..." The PINK haired person growled at no one in particular. The weird punk-"Fight me!" No! Shuddup! I'm trying to world build!

...Oh well, I guess anything goes in a world where people eat shit for magic (literally). "What you mean-" "Natsu!"

The young man jumped at the voice and turned his head to see who was calling him.

At first he grinned, recognising the distinct red hair of his long-time crush turned lover. "Erza!" He waved at her with his whole arm.

Then he saw the look on her face...

"E-Erza!?" He squeaked, when all of a sudden two iron clad hands smacked hard (but not too hard) on the sides of his head, grabbing him, and then pulled him down to meet her eye level.

"You left me in the store." Her voice was calm, yet her glare and grip said otherwise. The pink haired mage gulped in fear. "Explain yourself!"

...Wow. Feels bad.

"I just went out to... observe the street..?" She raised an eyebrow at that. The words were alien to his mouth, but it was true. And his observation was helpful. For the world building. Thanks Natsu. #feelsbad

"You ass-!" "Excuse me?" "Not you!"

Natsu scrambled to save his own ass when her glare darkened and he felt her

grip tighten.

"I meant your ass!" "Huh!?" "It's amazing today!"

He flashed her an uneasy grin yet his compliment was genuine. Her ass did look pretty sweet today (and every other day).

Smooth Natsu. Smooth... sike.

"Don't say such things in public!" The blushing redhead smacked him hard. Not hard enough to send him flying, but hard enough to learn his lesson (And sting. A lot.)

XxXxX

"Seriously, Natsu... it's unfitting of the man to leave his woman alone like that." She continued to scold him, but now she seemed less angry. Natsu would take that as a win.

Now they were both sitting opposite to each other outside a cafe so Natsu could shake the daze of being hit.

He used his left hand to squeeze her own in understanding, while his free hand was rubbing his sore cheek from where she hit.

"I know, that was pretty random. I'm sorry." She gave him a small smile at his apology. She wasn't truly mad, as she was worried when he just disappeared on her.

"Just let me know next time." With that said, she leaned over from where she was sitting and pecked him on the cheek where he wasn't hit.

Blushing at the unexpected action, Natsu turned his head to say something when he stopped all of a sudden.

He stood up, bringing Erza up with him as he looked around, nose up sniffing the air.

Sniff. Something. Sniff Sniff. Familiar.

With one more big whiff of air, his eyes widened. His face formed and scrunched in disgust as he keeled over, holding his nose as if it was about to fall off.

"Natsu! What's wrong!?" She was by his side in a split second, worrying over his form.

He looked up at her with fear evident in his eyes and she was shook.

"Erza... he's back."

She held him closer as she lifted them up from the ground. Her worries only grew.

"Natsu... Who's back?" She was almost afraid to ask, but as her partners face started to turn green, she realised.

The smell hit her first. Then she heard him.

"Explosive Excretion!"

...Everything went brown.

**Notes**:

It's been about what... 4 years since I've written any content?

I'm positive that whoever's reading this would be confused as hahahahah

But this is a sequel to the first fanfic I've ever written on this site which I doubt is remembered... heh

Anyways, it was When shit hits the dragon

Purely crack - I deleted everything in a fit of rage though... long story

But this is sequel isn't really a sequel if you get what I'm saying... but more of a symbol...?

Shitsu the Shit dragon slayer is back bahaha

So I'm back...


End file.
